October 7th, 2025

 

[12:43 pm]

(WARNING: EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE VIEWS AND TRUTH NUKE UP AHEAD, READ WITH CAUTION!!!)

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Hi! :D 

So yesterday I decided to make this online diary to replace my suspended Spacehey account (check this DevLog post if you don't know what happened, I'm still upset about it btw), and honestly, it's kinda neat and shit, but good lord I am BORED out of my mind right now.

I can't be the only one that hates Colorado so much, because people wanna glaze the shit out of this fuckass state all the time, but there's nothing to do around here if you don't like hiking or the outdoors n shit. There's basically no teen spaces here in the Springs and I hate it. (doesn't help that the weather's getting colder, meaning I'm basically stuck inside either way). 

So I've been just sitting around doom-scrolling on TikTok all day (fuckass app), and honestly, it just makes me more pissed off than it does entertain me. 

I ended up on Blackpill edit tiktok, and you'd think it'd actually be genuine blackpill content made by actual people in the blackpill community, right?  

Nah, it's just a bunch of assholes "mOgGiNg" little kids who are too young to even begin looksmaxxing and people just in general missing the whole point of the blackpill entirely.

Hot take: You don't need to looksmax to be a true backpiller, nor is bullying people because they can't get an expensive jaw surgery gonna make the sub5 experience any better. 90% about what this ideology is about (and it IS an ideology), is accepting that in this world, if you're not a chad or Stacey, you're gonna get looked down on and treated like shit, and to also address problems with the beauty standard that mainstream discussions about it fail to address. I think many discussions also talk about genetics playing a role in how your life goes too, but that differs from blackpiller to blackpiller.

And unfortunately, as heartbreaking as it sounds, it's not as easy as "just be nice to ugly people", no, it's a human instinct that most people cannot repress that's dated thousands of years, and has only gotten worse with time thanks to how strict beauty standards have become in the last decade or so. HELL, even I as a sub5/ltn woman find myself getting weirded out by other sub5 people, and those motherfuckers could easily mog me! Isn't that fucked up?

Obviously, I'm not gonna stop anyone from looksmaxxing if they think it can improve their life (which it can for the most part, but unfortunately it only gets you so far in life), but I personally think that it's retarded and insane to except a 9 YEAR OLD to get a jaw surgery when they're clearly too young for it. 

LEAVE. THE. KIDS. OUT OF IT. 

If anyone's wanting to get into looksmaxxing, I'd personally suggest staring softmaxxing (which involves makeup, personal style, hair, skincare, etc.) in your mid to late teens at the earliest, and then after all that you can get into hardmaxxing (plastic surgeries and other more permanent body alterations) in your twenties, IF you can afford it of course, because whether people wanna admit it or not: starting too early can leave you with serious compilations that could possibly make you look worse and defeat the point of looksmaxxing in the first place. It just don't work like that.

Now for me, I've given up on looksmaxxing, because as much as I hate the way I look thanks to how often I'm compared to these damn popular foids, with my financial situation at the moment, i can't do anything about it, but if I did have the money for any surgeries, I'd get a rhinoplasty and some breast implants (those are the parts about my appearance I'm most insecure about). Outside of that though, idek :p

 Hopefully my dad can get a better paying job soon so that I can at least try to invest in some softmaxxing (I spent nearly 56 bucks on skincare shit, but I barely used any of it because I've been stuck in a depressive episode these past two weeks, turning three).

 But yeah, outside of that, it's been boring as shit lately, and I've yearning to go to California so bad lately (I don't give a fuck what my parents say about it, I hate it here, and I miss my FP and my only friend :( Maybe one day I can go there and see them...) 

 Something that's also been on my mind lately: Apperantly Five Nights at Freddy's is "popular girl humor" now and as someone who's been a FNaF kid since 2019, I am NOT happy about it. 

I swear to god, the popular girls have been ruining the fandom since 2021 when Security Breach came out, and it's so stupid because I remember vividly how I used to get bullied so hard for being a Springtrap fangirl back in like 2019, but now suddenly you're a "newgen" for even remotely liking the character, and it just HGHFDGHFHFHFGUIRF! >:(

What pisses me off about it is how these foids bitch about shipping being "weird" and "problematic" or whatever as if it hasn't been a foundational part of the fandom since fucking TWENTY FIFTEEN. And they also have the nerve to call themselves "oG fAnS" yet they don't even know what fucking exotic butters is (I still laugh at that joke btw, it's funny as hell.)

And Tony Crynight? They somehow infultrated HIS fandom too, claiming to get "nOstAlGiA" from his animations when it's damn obvious they never even seen his animations in their entire lives, and then they go on to bully other members of the fandom for being too "weird". 

Istg popular kids trying to act niche will be the DEATH of me, because why is it that they come into OUR HOMES, uninvited, and tell US how we should arrange OUR FURNITURE?? YOU CAN'T JUST TELL US TO STOP SHIPPING THE CHARACTERS OR TO STOP BEING FAN-GIRLS JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE IT, ASSHOLE.

Speaking of shipping actually, I am so sick of people whining about pro-shipping and darkshipping all the time, like it's genuinely such a nonissue to the point even the words "non issue" make it sound more important than it is. 

"Oh, but they ship pdfphilia and grape and inc3st and it's all gross!!!!!!! :(" AND?? We've been doing that since the dawn of fandom culture, why is only NOW a problem for you? It's just two fictional characters getting paired in a way you don't like, just scroll and move on. You'll live. 

And I don't wanna hear about this "fiction affects reality" bullshit, because if you can't differentiate between fiction and reality, you shouldn't be on the internet or consuming the kind of media that pro-shippers consume in the FIRST PLACE. If someone does something illegal because of a fictional media, THAT'S ON THEM, not the little kids on tiktok shipping characters for fun.

Istg these motherfuckers would NOT survive a day on wattpad or AO3, they got some shit on there that would make any "anti" go into a coma.

Also, they're the same assholes who have the audacity to put "proship dni" in their bio then go into a pro-shipper's comment section and tell them to kill themselves, then get pissy when you call them out for it. Isn't that retarded? 

Idk anymore man, fandom culture as a whole sucks nowadays and it's messing with my sense of self so fucking hard. You can't enjoy jack shit anymore without some asshole complaining about it being "problematic", it's retarded as hell. I'll bet they don't even actually care about the issues they clam to care about SO much.

Like grooming for example? Instead of actually trying to address what could be the root cause of everyone getting grooming allegations on their ass, they just cancel every single youtuber they see by calling them groomers and faking discord screenshots as "proof", and then bashing them when said youtuber tries to address the situation, sometimes even framing the youtuber for another person's crime entirely. It doesn't actually do anything except make actual groomers be more sneaky with the way they pray on kids and shit and make y'all look like dumbasses

Also for some reason, a huge, HUGE majority of the youtubers getting cancelled for it are unattractive people, mostly average to sub5, which is funny because if it were a Stacey or a Chad, nobody would be saying a thing and even go out of their way to defend the youtubers n shit.

 

And you know what actually? 

fuck it. 

I actually wish I were a minor again and got groomed myself, because I genuinely don't care what happens to me, i would at least have someone that gives a damn about me, even if it's just to see my (nonexistent) tits. 

Because I have noticed time and time again that all of these "grooming victims" get a ton of love and praise just because some older guy spoke to them, and truly, this is just another reason why being sub5 sucks. Never even had the pleasure of an older guy telling me how sexy I am and giving me love and praise..

Maybe I'm just incelposting a little too hard, idk. 

I wonder if it's too late to fake my age now... 

Honestly idek what to write about anymore, so here's a random picture of my cat to finish this off :3

 (I think this is either Ace or Bones, can't remember)