October 13th, 2025

 

[8:04 pm]

Sorry for the lack of updates and shit, I keep procrastinating on it for some fucking reason and I'm not exactly sure why, but lately I've been thinking about my ex friends and the shit they pulled on me for over 5 years, and I think I've come to the realization that they're some of the worst people I've ever spoken to in my entire life. 

(keep in mind this rant's just talking about all of them in general, but a few of them are targeted at specific people I used to be friends with. I'm not giving them code names because I do genuinely hope they get harassed for it, I don't care what happens to them, I have no respect for them anymore, and I'm not gonna sugar coat what they did by giving them code names.)

When I used to be friends with Abby, Vii and Ava, and their friend group, I would always try to invite them to hang out and shit, and every-time they would always say "oh, sorry i got plans, i need to help my parents with their business (or whatever other excuse they always had), but we can hang out later!" But "later" would never come, and even when I tried to be reasonable and say "okay, that's fine with me, we can hang out later", later would STILL never come, and so I stopped asking them to hang out, but whenever I was burnt out from school and shit, all of a sudden they want to hang out, and if I DO decide to hang out with them, they always ignored me and interrupted me anytime I tried to say anything. But If I dared decline, I'm somehow being distant and an asshole (which I guess I am, but they're not any better than I am, so idk why they're complaining)

And it wasn't just with plans either. whenever I would send a message in the discord server I used to own or the group chat we were in, they left me on read CONSTANTLY, but they really wanna bitch about "oh, we care about you so much, why don't you talk to us anymore??? :(" Huh, idk, maybe it's because you never fucking respond?? 

Skyler in particular was such a sponge, she would always come over to MY house and trash the place by leaving empty monster cans and food wrappers all over my sister's room, and never even bothering to help clean up, and she expects my mom to always give her a ride home everyday after school just because her mom's too busy with her younger siblings to do it herself, and just with the way she always expects us to pay for her food when she KNOWS we can barely afford to feed ourselves, and after all that, she wonders why she's not invited to our house anymore.

And they all always wanna talk about how "communication is important" but never tell me if anything i did made them uncomfortable until it literally gets bad enough to where it ends in an argument. I mean sure, I often struggle with communicating my needs myself, but at least I'm aware of that, I don't get upset at them for something I never told them made me uncomfortable and then try to change the subject by going on a lecture about (just to set an example) how Deltarune is the best game of all time or some shit like that, IT'S NOT, IT FUCKING SUCKED, UNDERTALE SUCKED, AND TOBY FOX IS NOTHING MORE THAN A SPOILED BRAT. That's why Daniel, Dianne, and BunBun like him so much, he's just like them except he's rich and a chad unlike them.

Aliado and Shaggy? They're nothing more than a bunch of grown children who think the world revolves around them. In fact they're so insufferable, that the only reason I was friends with them at all was because of some moral obligation I had after some drama between the three of us from fucking 2021, if it weren't for that, I would've cut them of ages ago.

Like for fuck sake WHO CARES IF MEOWBAH'S OFFENSIVE? She's a damn troll making content to intentionally piss people off, and giving her attention only makes that shit worse, but Aliado doesn't give a shit because she wants to act all morally superior just because she's a retard who can't tell the difference between a joke and someone being seriously about something, good god she reminds me of how I used to act when I was her age, it makes me sick. 

And Shaggy's over here 20 years old, acting like he's 12, and he constantly harasses every Loona roleplay account he comes across. Like sure, self shipping is valid or whatever, but don't make it everyone else's problem for fuck sake. He's a damn lolcow, and he wonders why people bully him all the time.

And what really bothers me is how they all pretend they're some morally superior people just because they happen to believe the textbook leftist agenda, talking about how much they hate the government, and how capitalism ruined society, and how homelessness is the worst thing to happen to America and all that shit, well what have YOU done to help, huh? I used to go volunteer at the salvation army near my house (and I would've today if I didn't pull an all-nighter last night, might go tomorrow though because I need to leave the house), but I never seem them there before! Wanna help? STOCK THE DAMN FOOD PANTRY. And speaking of that government thing, NEWS FLASH ASSHOLES, EVERYONE HATES THE GOVERNMENT, YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL!!

And you know, I would go ahead and forgive all of that, if they weren't such a BORE. That's right, they're a bunch of retarded, progressive, sad bores. They bring nothing to the table.

Honestly, out of all of the people I've been friends with in my life, my FP and my current friend are the only ones that remotely gave a shit about me on a legitimate scale, but even then, FP's so fucking distant with his fanbase because of some stupid grooming allegations against him, that it's basically impossible to talk to him at all. And I've tried everything, from giving him fanart, to joining his server and his streams, everything, but he won't budge. And none of this is to say I have anything against him, I love him and think about him all the damn time, but he won't love me back, and honestly, that fucking hurts, being in love with someone but they never reciprocate. It always feels like I'm annoying him anytime I say anything to him, and I hate it.

And I feel like I'm starting to lose my friend too. We've been talking less and less lately, and he's been spending time with his girlfriend more often, and I'm genuinely worried because what if he doesn't like me anymore? What if he leaves like everyone else does...? Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I hope he's not angry at me for anything i said or did.

Idk anymore, I just hate how in every single friendship i'm in, i'm either getting ignored and abandoned, they're fucking abusive assholes to me, or I find a way to fuck it up and they leave. It feels like I've never been in a genuinely healthy relationship with anyone before, and I feel like I'm doomed to be like this for the rest of my life...

But why? Is it because I'm not a Stacey with big boobs and a button nose? I wonder how different my life would be if I looked like a porn star, maybe then my life would be better.