October 15th, 2025

[12:39 am]

 Some days, I think my parents are gonna get a divorce sooner than later, and tonight was is one of them.

So, my mom got some emails talking about some charges and shit on her card that she didn't know about, and a few of them they sound like they were purchased around the time my dad was working on the doors for his clients and shit. Instead of politely asking him if he made any extra purchases that she didn't know about, this bitch decides to start yelling at my dad and accusing him of using a card that she asked him not to (even though there wasn't any evidence proving or denying this). 

So then my dad rightfully gets all defensive and starts asking if he could look up any receipts to see what kind of purchases he made, but my mom isn't letting her and she's screaming at him continuing to ask him if he purchased from some place called Harbor Freights (idfk, sounds like a mountain climbing shit but it's probably one of dad's purchases for the doors), and even at one point he calls her a dumbass (which is what she was acting like because she was getting all pissed at him over a purchase that neither of them know the origin of, i'd call my wife that too if she was acting like that), and then my mom gets offended and berades him and shit for it

And then it just turns into a screaming match where mom's continuously accusing him of stealing the card, my dad's asking to see her phone to look at the emails and find out what's going on, and my mom gets defensive and refuses, and the cycle just keeps going for about like 5-7 minutes straight, until eventually my mom heads to their room and slams the door, pissed off about it. 

So then my dad had enough and decides to look through the emails himself, then my mom storms out of the room moments after, yells at him for snooping around her phone, continues to yell at him and (once again) accuse him of stealing the card, and then storms back into her room, and right now, my dad's just watching TV and shit, all because mom couldn't just politely ask if he made any purchases recently (and she should know those were most likely for the doors because she's saying those purchases were made recently, so I don't know what she's bitching about). 

Now, imagine if your parents argued exactly like this over stupid shit, let's say, every 2-3 months or so, always ending with one of the parents heading to bed angry. Combine that with them never speaking to each other even when they're in the same room, haven't been on a date in god knows HOW long, and the fact that my mom would spends more time with her dying mother without going two seconds without shitting herself than the man that she's been married two for like 20-30 years or so, and you get two kids that constantly believe that every argument is gonna end in a divorce one way or another. I don't even think I've ever seen them genuinely happy together, that's how bad it is, and HELL, I still remember the time that my mom screamed that she wanted a divorce over something dad said in his sleep (???) and my parents got into a fight over it, and then my mom went to my grandma's house for the rest of the night. All that shit happened like 2-4 years ago, and I still think of that every-time they get into an argument over something small. 

Honestly, what kind of kid would hear THAT, in the middle of the night for that matter, and somehow NOT constantly worry about their parents divorcing all the time? That's just fucked up.

 And my dad can keep telling me that it's never gonna happen, and that they're "happy" together or whatever, but I just know he'll regret saying that the minute one of them starts packing their shit and walking out the door, it's inevitable atp. 

I don't know, but all I DO know is that unless something's done about their crumbling relationship soon, it's NOT gonna end pretty. They don't feel anything for eachother at this point, they're only still married because Dad's the only one with a job because my grandma is so dependent on my mom to the point where she can't get a job herself, and refuses to let a nurse take care of her instead (I hope my grandma dies soon because I can't stand my mom constantly going to her house all the time and barely spending any time with us unless it was to spend all day in the living room watching karens and playing June's journey all day, but somehow, I'M the lazy one? fuck that)

Actually, speaking of how often my mom's out of the house, there's just SOMETHING in my gut telling me that she's going and seeing another guy without my dad's knowledge, and using the "i'm going to take care of Nana" excuse to cover it all up. I just can't prove it, and I don't wanna snoop through her phone to try and find anything suspicious, and risk getting caught in the process. But honestly, given how rocky their relationships have been, especially as of recent, I have reason to suspect that SOMETHING fishy's going on, especially with how reluctant my mom was when my dad asked her to show him her phone, even if it'd just be for a brief moment so he could look at some emails. Was she trying to hide something? 

But god forbid someone confronts my mom about it, or anything she does for that matter, because according to her, she can do NO wrong since she's a "hard working mother" (more like hardLY working), and anyone who criticizes her is an asshole who blames her for everything!(sarcasm)(still makes me wonder why she gets pissed at me for acting the same way as her, like mother like daughter ig...)

Damn, being in a dysfunctional family is fucking up my brain missionary... I basically have no support system at home, and it just feels like we're not even family anymore, more like we're roommates or some shit, I can't lie about it anymore. And they're also the reason why I can barely function as an adult and can't do basic things like clean a room or make dinner, but can't complain to them about that because they'll say it's my fault somehow. They practically failed me but won't admit it.

I just wish I lived with my FP or my friend in California, I bet they have it nicer than I do. And at least THEY give a damn about me unlike my family. I know i'd probably be a horrible roommate, considering the way I was raised, but i'll take whatever's better than wasting away in this disgusting and depressing household i'm forced to live in now.