December 8th, 2025

 

 

 [11:33 am]

 

I can't fucking take this shit anymore, I just wanna self isolate and never leave my house again. 

I have work in like 3 hours, but I'm seriously considering quitting because if there's one thing I know I hate, it's interacting with other people, and what does my job require? interacting with other people. 

The only reason why I haven't just up and quit already is because 1) my fuckass mom would kick me out if I didn't get a job, and 2) I want to save up for some of the stuff I need, like a new desk because the one I have is old as shit and literally falling apart, or some RAM for my computer because I can barely play Yandere Simulator with the 8gb I have, it's miserable. 

But even then, is it SERIOUSLY worth wasting literally 4 hours of my fucking day just sitting there ringing a bell in a crowded ass environment in a deer costume that I look like shit in while my body physically starts to give in and having to hear the employees complain about something that's literally MY FUCKING JOB, only to come home depressed, broke and miserable?

Thank fucking lord I only have to work until the end of the month, because a while ago, I thought my neck fucking broke because I could barely move it without feeling pain, but I couldn't call in sick because by the time I started feeling this agonizing pain in my neck, it was already too late to call in, and it was a good thing that the weather was so bad that they had to shut down the store because the highway was a fucking mess. 

I just wish my mom understood that I don't care about the outside world or the shitty people in it, because then I wouldn't be having to work this shitty ass job, and I could stay inside my room forever just playing Yandere Simulator and dating sims, and watching anime and shit, all without having to worry about rejection or being treated like shit. I could finally disappear. 

That's the kind of life i want, I don't want to get better, because I'm incapable of getting better. I can only cope.

Maybe when I finally get to stop working, i can achieve that life, but for now, I can't, so I guess I'm going to work. 

 [1:39 pm]

 I fucking hate my parents so much. 

I just found out that my mom won't be taking me to cash in my check until tomorrow, even though she promised me MULTIPLE, FUCKING TIMES, that it'd be TODAY. My boss told me it'd be today, everyone said it'd be today, I even told everyone on YandereDev's discord server server IT'D BE TODAY. And now you're wanting to tell me that I have to wait yet ANOTHER DAY to get paid for the fucking work I did last week???? FUCK THIS!!!!!! 

This is exactly what pisses me off about my parents so much, they always promise that they'd do something for me or get me something, and they never go through with it, then they get angry when I get upset when THEY were the ones that broke their promise. 

At this rate, I'm gonna bet that I'm not gonna even get that new desk for Christmas, nor the RAM I need to play Yandere Simulator. In-fact I doubt I'm gonna get anything, so I don't know why they even bothered asking me what I wanted this year is they're never gonna give me shit except an empty promise that's gonna leave me not wanting to trust them anymore. 

Actually, now that i think about it, I wouldn't be surprised if they also convinced my boss to not pay me, maybe he's fucking in on this shit too. Maybe he's secretly working with my parents behind my back to make sure that I suffer as much as possible, that's why one of my coworkers got paid on Friday but I didn't. 

Maybe this whole job bullshit is just some conspiracy to make me suffer to the point I go insane so that my parents can have a reason to abandon me in a psych ward, or even put me in jail. That's why I've suffered my whole life: they're plotting against me, everyone is plotting against me, and that's why I can never have a good life!! 

HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THAT BEFORE?! It's all connected in some evil scheme to get rid of me, it's why they're pushing a lifestyle that's driving me into being a hikikomori. 

And it's working damn well, because everyday, I have the urge to self isolate and never leave my room, and my parents haven't done shit about it except force me to get a job, wanna know why? because they want me to suffer!!!!!! 

 Maybe that explains why I have no friends, or a social life, and why the government is so horrible. It's all a plot against me!!!  

But I guess it's too late to do anything now, after all there's some conspiracies that you can't change no matter what, so I guess in an hour I'm going to work, forcing myself to live as a lab rat for these people. 

But what if there's a way out? what if there's a way for this horrible conspiracy to end? What if that's the key to saving myself from never ending suffering?? 

Only one way to find out, but for now, I just have to act like I don't know until i can figure out a way out of this.