Nozomi's Diary

    December 13th, 2025   [12:13 am] Day 6 of me finding out about the conspiracy --- I'm getting fucking tired of my sister's "motivation" bullshit, it ain't even funny. So, she asked for some help on an assignment earlier today, and it was a final that was due at 11:59pm today (a few minutes ago), and what the assignment was, is that you had to review a movie with some fuckass terminology and shit, and my ass thought that it's be a simple video to work on, right? Apperantly not.  While we were gathering clips for the damn thing she was being so fucking picky about the clips she wanted to use, but the clips she was asking for, most of them I couldn't find on YouTube or google, and she was describing them so fucking poorly too, but kept insisting that she was explaining them right and that  I  was misinterpreting what she was saying.  Then came the voice-over. Motherfucker was slurring her speech so bad that it made me question if she was having a stro...

      [10:05 am]  Day 4 of me finding out about the conspiracy --- I just wish that YandereDev would have a conversation with me for once.  I know he's a hard working man and all, but every-time I get the chance to be able to talk to him on VC, he always seems so distant towards me and stuff, and even a little uncomfortable with talking to me. Same thing with whenever I DM him on discord, he usually only responds with just a few words merely acknowledging what I sent him, if he responds at all. It's actually making me wonder if he doesn't like me for some reason.  And I know it's targeted at me because he seems to be more engaged when talking to someone else, like say, Adolfin (one of the mods for his discord server), or Lillith (one of his fans). Maybe it's something I did or said that's making him uncomfortable? Maybe it's because I'm young? (but then again, he has no problem talking to his fans that are younger than me, so that's out of the questi...

      [10:05 am]  I swear, the more the world tries to prove that I'm not in a conspiracy, the more obvious that conspiracy becomes. It's been three fucking days, and still no paycheck from last week, I'm considering calling my manager to see what the fuck is going on here. I went to the place yesterday, and they told me that they would speak with some guy about it, and that i'd get an email or a phone call regarding my paycheck, but so far, nothing.   Honestly, if I wasn't already in a conspiracy before, I sure am now, and this one, I want out of it. No point in working at all if you're never gonna get paid for your efforts, right?  But then again, if my parents find out, they're gonna be livid and try to convince me to go back, or worse, they'll kick me out of the house for even REMOTELY considering it. WHO KNOWS? All I know is that I don't give a fuck how they feel, they can just TELL i hate this job so much, that the only thing I like about it...

    [12:26 pm]  It appears I have been bamboozled by the conspiracy once more.   Today, I went to go pick up my check, and I thought everything would be all good and stuff, right?  Well, apparently I somehow made the mistake of not writing my legal name down on the time-sheet, so the motherfuckers working to pay everyone apparently wouldn't know to pay me and shit. Honestly, I'm disappointing, but then again, I have a tendency to forget to do certain things, so I partially blame myself lol.  Still can't help but feel like the reason I wasn't reminded to before was part of the conspiracy...  Lucky for me, I wasn't the only one getting wrapped up in a conspiracy today.  So, like twoish months ago, there were these cops that came to my house and questioned my parents about something. What is what?   I had no idea.  Come to find out that this IDIOT of a woman had apparently stood in the middle of the road (right on a blind spot for my m...

     [11:33 am]   I can't fucking take this shit anymore, I just wanna self isolate and never leave my house again.  I have work in like 3 hours, but I'm seriously considering quitting because if there's one thing I know I hate, it's interacting with other people, and what does my job require? interacting with other people.  The only reason why I haven't just up and quit already is because 1) my fuckass mom would kick me out if I didn't get a job, and 2) I want to save up for some of the stuff I need, like a new desk because the one I have is old as shit and literally falling apart, or some RAM for my computer because I can barely play Yandere Simulator with the 8gb I have, it's miserable.  But even then, is it SERIOUSLY worth wasting literally 4 hours of my fucking day just sitting there ringing a bell in a crowded ass environment in a deer costume that I look like shit in while my body physically starts to give in and having to hear the employees com...

  [1:40 pm]  --- Something is... Wrong. with me. And I'm tired pf people not grasping the severity of it.  I was cam-whoring a while ago (without my now ex boyfriend's knowledge), and I thought that it would help me get over him and that I would finally feel happy for once in my fucking life. And it was fun at first (or maybe I was just too retarded to understand), but honestly, it's just made me realize the truth about myself.  The truth is that I am not a good person in the slightest, and it makes me sick how people can still trust me even after all the shit I've pulled in my life.  I'm not pretty, I have a horrible personality, I don't feel empathy for anyone but myself, I'm selfish, I'm angry, I'm a loser, I take advantage of people's kindness, I abuse and manipulate people for my own emotional gain, I blame others for problems that are clearly my fault, while acting like I'm so perfect, I'm a cheater (if that wasn't obvious enoug...